New York (Hard) Times

"This year, as you watch the lights dim on a performance that has meant something to you, that has made something happen in your heart or your head, you may see the real human being through the mask of the fictional characters a little more vividly. The chorus kid with the megawatt smile, the all-but-legendary musical diva with a devoted following, the up-and-coming young leading man — when the curtain falls they will all return to being actors anxiously awaiting their next engagement, at a scarily perilous time for everybody. So keep clapping, please, and a “Bravo!” or two would surely be appreciated."

expert from the New York Times.

Happiness:

that's all that ever matters in the moment.

It's time for a resolution, baby

Let's see. If I were starting a new year what would I want to do differently?

* When you have no significant other in your life, don't pretend like you do. Don't drag your baggage towards someone else. You know the deal.

* Like everyone always says, go to the damn gym. Be active. Stop being lazy. Go get a six pack.. or something like it.

* No more blowing up for no apparent reason on your parents. Unless they're being immature. Be nice to your parents on the phone. You know you love them so stop being such a bitch.

* Keep up your correspondence. Keep good people around you.

* Continue loving yourself and everything about you.

* Ask for help more. Higher beings and people do care about you. That's what they're there for.

* Love everyone. Keep positive energy alive in your life and keep spewing it out every chance you get. No matter what.


That's a pretty banging list if I've ever seen one. That'll do just fine.

conflict of interest anyone?

"when you're in your hardest times, don't be scared to make them mine." -RLT

if you stare at your eyes long enough they stop looking worn and become broken. It's heartbreaking.

I could write a song about this picture.

I feel like this is what you would have looked like telling me the bad news. I imagine your eyes tearing up like that and turning red. And biting your lips because there really isn't anything else that can be said at a time like this. I'm sure this picture has nothing to do with me or the bad news, but it's what I imagine. It's what I hope. 

everyone has their person.

that one person in your life that doesn't need a word to understand what you want or how you feel.

And when you do give them words and thoughts, they respond so effortlessly, leaving you feeling like you can get through anything. 

I didn't know my person was going to be you.

I think I like it this way.

---------------

Seeing recent pictures of you makes me reluctantly intrigued. 

You really are okay with this.

The flashbacks that I'm getting should prove different.

What the hell did we do? 

What the hell was that?

And why the hell don't you care?

"because you deserve everything"

when you can't be with the one that you love the most,

you finally start living in real-time.

you can feel every minute go by.

you tell yourself this is the way it is, 

as your daily routine becomes almost arbitrary,

as your emotions mold into one solid rock of numb,

and there's that voice in your head reminding you what you have lost.

The forbidden slideshow of flashbacks flicker constantly in your head,

without your consent. 

And all you can do is keep going,

drilling into your mind that there is a reason,

there is a purpose.

Even though we said it was all or nothing,

and we did choose nothing,

and that's what it feels like.