you finally start living in real-time.
you can feel every minute go by.
you tell yourself this is the way it is,
as your daily routine becomes almost arbitrary,
as your emotions mold into one solid rock of numb,
and there's that voice in your head reminding you what you have lost.
The forbidden slideshow of flashbacks flicker constantly in your head,
without your consent.
And all you can do is keep going,
drilling into your mind that there is a reason,
there is a purpose.
Even though we said it was all or nothing,
and we did choose nothing,
and that's what it feels like.